Spiritual Suicide
I feel like I’m losing my mind, losing time
Gaining wounds but no ground, being lost
Never Found
I feel like I’m falling away,
From everything I’ve wanted and claimed
No turning back dark as night and I treading
In the quicksand going deep and losing heart.
The pain cuts through like no other
And I’ve lost more than just my soul
I’ve lost my life, the will to move and breathe
The need to be, to feel love deep.
I’m losing my mind and time has gone
Young in years but not in hope.
If I don’t hold on to my savior, my living Christ
The strongholds cut me through, I cannot thrive.
Why do I go and wallow in the mud, swine for the taking?
Why can’t I accept a love that is in the light just waiting?
I can’t feel my worth, my struggles and pain are my burden
I can’t not hope through all this hurting.
I rather stay in the fog and dramatize the situation
Pretend to love myself and say they hatin
Who am I talking to? Anybody reading this?
I could drop off the face of the earth, would they be hurt, would they care or be pissed?
Just mad that I cannot do their bidding, not concerned with if I’m winning?
Not knowing if I’m with the Father, not caring, why bother?
So knowing the cares that they feel, you tell me would your mind feel real?
Could you believe all the pain and hurt is supposed to be worth it
When you feel abandoned, unwanted, self-disgusted?
Nobody likes the truth, the hide it behind the lie
Then they look around and lose one more to suicide.
O’ you thought I was talking physical death?
O’ no that would be too easy baby.
I’m talking about a death, that would have your mind imprisoned,
You’d be labeled insane and crazy.
Taking drugs, sex, and clubs, whatever be your fix.
Riding highs, getting by, going on that flip.
You live the life in this world, not worried about the next.
Your mind imprisoned by the traps that were set.
Promises of things not his to give you, trying to win a bet.
Le the world take your mind if you want but
In the Lord you can find life.
He took the pain and your burden
You took the punishment for your strife.
Struggle a little longer, work a little harder,
Share your love, trust and believe.
Stay true and dedicated and trust and you will receive.
Trust and trust again
And then just try to love in overflow, try it and you win
Take the road less travelled, try something brand new
Let your mind free, get in love and be renewed.
Spiritual Suicide by Kayla Finley
#1 God Is My Light
God is my light, my savior, my joy
Not one is above him
He is my salvation, bringer of peace
With him I continue to stand,
On tired, weary feet.
God is my light, the source of my strength
Even when I fail to praise him,
He takes away my pain.
He gives me compassion, he is my rock
He gives me hope, when sin has me locked.
God is my light, I cannot deny His name.
My soul is his alone, though the enemy tries to stake a claim.
As I battle through life, eyes blind, hands groping the night.
God is my all, my peace, and my life.
#2: Revelation by the Seaside
I ran to the seaside with tears in my eyes
I shouted, I yelled, I screamed and I cried.
My burdens were heavy and my path was not clear
I called to the heavens but doubted my father would hear.
I stumbled; I fell and laid my head by the sea
I had no understanding and didn't know why, life was killing me.
I brought my knees to my chest as the waves lapped at my feet.
I felt sorrow, I felt loneliness and felt utter defeat.
Then a voice called to me and at first I felt fear.
He said, Child I told you I am always very near.
Your doubt keeps you blind
Your doubt your growing faith.
You told me you would give me your burdens,
but you hold on to them in vain.
Now truly let go, let me heal your broken heart.
Let me give your mind peace, its my promise from the start
Give me all of you as you have given this earth,
And feel my embrace and rejoice in your re-birth!
At first I felt fear, then shame as he spoke to me.
Fear went away quickly as I gazed out at the sea.
I felt his presence and I could no longer hide.
He finally opened my eyes and in that moment
I had my revelation by the seaside
